Get out of my way, you miserable-
Yeah, that's fine.
Not the gunwales! Try the roof!
Didn't you hear me, kid?
Yeah, I heard ya.
Don't mean a goddamn thing to me.
Not to old Cigaret, it doesn't.
Ah! Ah! Ah!
Ow! Ah! Ah!
Ah! Ah! Ah!
- Give me your hand. - No.
Come on. Get your hand on the rod here. Hold on.
Give me your other hand. Come on. Swing it across.
Come on. Let's go. Now swing your ass over the rod.
On the rod. Come on. Now off it. Get up.
Old Hee-haw Mike never taught you to ride down trains, did he?
Come on. Get your other arm up.
All right. Keep on goin', right up to the roof.
Go on, kid.
Don't stand there. Keep goin'. Go on.
Ow!
Now, look. If you think I'm-
What the hell are you doin'?
Teachin' you.
Why?
I'm still workin' on that.
Huh?
What the hell's goin' on here?
What are we stopping for?
Everything's okay, folks. Just stay on the train.
We won't be here long.
All right. Everybody back in your seats.
Mr. Collard, we've got a schedule to keep.
They greased the rails, the goddamn tramps!
I don't give a damn if they're democrats! Get this moving!
Give her sand.
Get back to your seats there. We'll be movin' right along.
More sand!
Give her more! Goddamn tramps!
Look, do exactly what I do. Nothing more.
Don't like it. Just do it.
Over here. Here.
Come on. Grab on.
Oh, shit!
Don't listen to the wheels, kid...
unless you're tied down, and you wanna sleep.
Then when your blood starts to get thick...
you edge over and take a look at 'em.
It'll start to flow again.
Sure is nice to be eatin' standin' still.
Yeah, you're right. The way things are these days, it's good to be eatin', period.
Nice sight, huh, kid?
We'll ride that bastard yet.
Oughta keep you alive till we get to Salem.
Here she comes.
Stay back from the train till it stops.
Hurry up, dear. It only stops for a few minutes.
I'm coming. Just wanna get a newspaper.
All aboard! All aboard!
Hurry up, dear.
Well?
What's the matter? Ain't you ever seen nobody shave before?
- All aboard! - What do you know?
- All aboard! - Good-bye!
- Have a good trip.
Good-bye.
Good-bye. Bye-bye!
- Bye-bye. - Bye.
I'm trustin' you, kid. Cover for me.
Hey, you, come back here!
Let go! Let go of me!
Hey! Stop!
Stop! Stop!
Hey, hey. Come on.
Hey, look who it is!
Goddamn! It's A-#1.
- What's he doin' here? - What's goin' on?
Shh. Quiet.
Stop! It'll be the rock pile for you!
Come back here! Come on!
In the caboose, kid! In the caboose!
He must be crazy.
He's gotta be crazy.
I guess he ain't here, all right.
You tell him it's 90 days on the rocks if I get my hands to him! He's sent up!
He's sent up.
- Now, you just give me that! - Uh-uh. The sale was final.
Well, you can keep the turkey, but I'm takin' the kid in.
Turkey? What turkey?
Who sees a turkey? Well, this here's a dog.
I'm only doin' what I'm told to do!
You gentlemen ought to understand that!
Look what you've done.
- What have I done? - Now he thinks he's a turkey.
- Better bark for him. - What?
Bark for him.
What?
I must have wax in my ears.
Hey, okay.
Hey, a drink for this great lover of dogs. That's all right.
I'm- I'm a man of temperance.
Well, so am I. You could nurse a baby with this stuff, right?
Okay.
Go on. You only live once.
Must be a sign of the times. The governor in this state can steal, and an honest man can't.
And we get a cop who don't drink.
How'd you come in?
Private compartment of the Great Northern mail.
They was crazy to think they could knock him off.
Ain't no shack alive can take A-#1. No, sir.
- Show 'em their best ain't good enough. - All right, boys.
How about a little doggie for supper?
I'll get a pot.
Get that fire goin' good.
You look like the president of the railroad, kid.
Why don't you take your hat off?
You come in here like you was a millionaire.
Well, you're not. You're a casual.
You ain't even seen a first-class hobo yet.
Where you been sleepin'?
Straw stacks and barns.
You've slept out. Why don't you say so?
- You got any money? - Couple of pennies.
Willing to be searched?
You're a punk, a deadbeat.
No bum worth a damn is gonna let himself be picked over.
How long you been out? Thirty days?
Where do you think you're at?
You let some two-bit cop cut you down, and now you're gonna come in here...
and figure on cuttin' me and Shack down at the same time?
Damn, boy.
You ain't even ready for a half-grown girl.
One of those New Orleans women get a hold of you, you'd cry for your mama.
But it's plain you've already cried for your mama.
Get your head up!
What have you learned? Spit it out. How much?
I'm gonna tell you once, never again, so listen tight.
You've got a chance to be a good bum.
You can be a meat eater, kid-
I mean people, not their garbage.
I wanna see you rough as a jungle cat.
Keep on goin' the way you are. Keep gettin' knocked around...
in the same places till the knocks don't hurt anymore.
Then you run with the train. Remember it.
But don't ever grab unless you're sure you can hold on.
If you ever let go, she'll throw you under.
Want some new togs for the kid?
No.
- How good a thief are you? - Huh?
Are you any good at stealin'?
For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son...
that whosoever believeth in him shall not perish but have everlasting life.
- And so I say unto you, do not displease God.
Would he say unto you, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant,:
Thou hast been faithful over a few things, and I will make thee ruler over many things"?
No, brothers and sisters. The master said...
"By thy words thou shall be justified."
- For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son.
And if it's good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for Paul.
It's good enough for you and me, brothers and sisters.
For here I find the door of hope and salvation.
- Do you rejoice in God, sister? - I rejoice.
Hallelujah, brothers and sisters.
Hallelujah.
- Hallelujah! - Hallelujah.
- Hallelujah! - Oh, hear my prayer, Blessed Virgin Mother.
Reveal thy wisdom.
- How beautiful is thy revelation. - Amen.
- Lord, I have sinned. - Strive for perfection, sister.
Confess your adulterations. Confess your wanton waywardness.
I confess my sins, O Lord.
Hallelujah, brothers and sisters. Hallelujah!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
You're in God's name...
pure of soul indeed!
Praise the Lord and give me another sinner.
You're next, brother. You're next, brother.
And Jesus said, "Come unto me, all who are weak and heavy laden."
O Lord, is there truth among us?
Sanctify thy truth. Have you sinned, brother?
I have sinned.
How, then, can the Lord sanction such neglect?
I will immerse you rather than have you go to the Presbyterians.
Save me from the Presbyterians.
O Lord, give the world to this poor sinner.
- Jesus Christ! - That's right. Trust in the Lord, brother.
- I feel his workings within me. - He is your savior.
Jesus hears you! Confess, sinner.
Are you resolved to devote your life to Christ and his work?
The Lord is my tabernacle.
And his ship is filled with gold.
Well, set sail for the pearly gates.
- Hallelujah, brother. - Hallelujah!
Reverend! Reverend!
Reverend! Some son of a bitch stole our clothes!
After him! After him! Catch him!
Don't let him get away! Find the thief!
After him!
All right. Now you listening?
- Are you listening? - Yeah, I'm listening.
You tighten your belt, turn up your collar, do everything you're told...
you can be Emperor of the North Pole.
You don't, then you are out, O-U-T!
- Emperors know a lot, huh? - They know plenty, kid.
A-#1 knows more. Let's go.
Come on! Let's go!
It was like that all the way.
He was crazy thinkin' he could take us.
- Thank you, Cracker. - Shit.
Goin' up against the Shack is like goin' up against Dempsey.
He was lucky the Shack let him live.
Jesus Christ! On the tower!
On the tower!
Takes a lot of guts, I'll tell ya.
He must be some bo, that A-#1.
He goes all the way to Portland, he makes history.
Okay, I'm givin' odds on the bo. Eight-to-five, A-#1 makes it.
You're on. Ten bucks.
6:40.
I suppose you wanna highball.
No, I don't wanna highball. Regular speed.
Ain't we gonna highball?
No, we ain't gonna highball. Just regular speed.
Oh.
Just look like you're searchin' the train.
Look like you're searchin' the train. Do you understand?
Sure. Search the train.
Well, move it!
Aha!
Ah! Hey!
Grab the rope!
Well, grab it!
Cracker!
Goddamn you, you Cracker, son of a bitch!
You stupid idiot! When I tell you to do-
Useless bastard.
Wait a minute. I'll get some oil.
Wait a minute, Coaly.
Easy now. Easy.
Easy, Coaly. Easy. Easy.
Damn.
What's the matter?
You look broke up to me.
I can fight like a house afire! I'm ready!
Ya are broke up bad.
You're quittin'!
Drag your ass back to the Jesus shouters.
Tell 'em they got a stew bum for the choir.
This bo's headin' out. He's on his way.
And that ain't just to look around either.
I'm gonna parade.
High mucky-muck of everything. Tramp royale.
Emperor of the North Pole!
Slashing left and right with my razor.
Puttin' my fist into more faces than you can figure.
Till they so damn played out, they surrender to me...
unconditionally, on the spot.
There'll be some stories about me 'fore I'm through.
Ain't a jungle I walk into where they won't know my name.
I'll have kings and queens and royal flushes...
and I'll be chief of all!
And nothing's gonna be too good for this big fella.
There's gonna be some bust-in heads.
Hey!
I'm talkin' straight. You better listen.
I ain't stickin' with you anymore.
You ain't good for bummin'.
You ain't mean enough for it.
You can't handle this Shack. Get off his road!
Easy. Easy. Easy.
Easy now, Coaly. I know it hurts.
Oh, God, it hurts!
It hurts!
Get your ass over here! Now you get us the hell outta here!
- Now!
Oh! Help! Oh!
You son of a-
You bastard.
Got yourself a game leg, huh, kid?
You should've jumped off. That would have been the smart thing to do.
You should've jumped, kid!
I gotta hand it to you, kid. Yes, sir.
You played both sides against the middle.
Had yourself a high old time while it lasted.
Yeah, but now it's lasted long enough.
Oh, you can keep runnin', kid, but you're runnin' out of train.
And there's no place to hide.
My brakey's cracked his neck, the hide's peelin' off the black...
and the Hogger's ready for the loony bin.
And all because of you.
That's a pretty fair day's work for a tenderfoot.
But now I'm gonna show you what happens to people who ride on my train without a ticket.
Too bad you didn't get me too, kid.
Too bad you didn't let that pin bust you up instead of me.
'Cause now I'm gonna spread your ass all over these tracks like manure!
Shack! Your fight's over here.
Jesus.
Uh-huh.
Don't belly up on me, bo!
You promised me a fight!
Ghost story, huh?
Smart-ass.
Pick it- Pick it up.
You wanna play? You wanna play, huh, bo?
Come on.
Smart-ass.
Hey!
Oh, no, you don't, Shack. Like you said, I promised you a fight.
Now, get your ass up here...
you dirty, miserable, no-good son of a bitch!
Oh, damn.
- Hey, bo!
You ain't seen the last of me!
Yes, sir. Gee whiz.
Me and you, if we ain't the team.
Well-Well, we can go to prison and free the cons.
We can capture Mexico. We can do in Rome as the dagos do.
Knockin' down everything we see, all stuck on ourselves.
Cigaret and A-#1.
Yes, sir.
Kid, you got no class.
Stick to barns, kid!
Run like the devil!
Get a tin can and take up moochin'!
Tackle back doors for a nickel!
Tell 'em your story! Make 'em weep!
You could've been a meat eater, kid!
But you didn't listen to me when I laid it down!
Stay off the tracks! Forget it!
It's a bum's world for a bum!
You'll never be Emperor of the North Pole, kid!
You had the juice, kid, but not the heart!
And they both go together!
You're all gab and no feel!
And nobody can teach you that!
Not even A-#1!
So stay off the train!
She'll throw you under for sure!
Remember me for that!
So long, kid!